We need to back track slightly - into December. There was a day that the Prof decided (when he still thought there was an “us”), that we would re-do our bedroom. This apparently entailed buying new sheets for the bed, new curtains etc. He dragged me off to the shops for this expedition.
Still wanting things to work out, I went along, albeit very unenthusiastically. I am not a great shopper at the best of times. (Wouldn’t that make me any man’s dream wife???)
I was doing the um and ahhh thing. For some of the things I even managed an “mm I don’t like that one, oh but this one is good etc.” I remember thinking – hey – look at me – I can even keep this facade up – but really – what is this about? Who wants new sheets when the marriage is in trouble?
O boy – am I sorry now that I didn’t pay better attention!! The Prof moved all of that stuff out with him, and Cream Puff now sleeps under the “marriage saving” duvet cover. Can you imagine the glee with which I could have asked – “hey darling – do you like the sheets I picked out for you? “ But alas – all I remember is that they were brown!
Well, amongst that load of goodies were 2 fitted sheets for the queen sized bed. The Prof (not wanting to leave “holes” in the house), did not take that bed with him. He took his granny’s old double bed – which had been stored in the garage. You are starting to get the picture, right. Those sheets did not fit.
A few weeks or so, after he moved out, the Prof brought back the sheets and wanted to give them to me. I looked at them in horror and said – no thank you, take them back to Woolies – you have the slip.
He refused to take them back, insisting that I keep them. I looked at those fitted sheets and decided – those could be the last sheets on earth – I am not using them.
They sat around stealing space for a while, and then I decided FINE- I will return them to Woolies. They were all wrapped up in their packaging still with the price on them. When I looked at the price I almost fell over. R650 per 1 sheet. Holy moly – do they have spun gold in them????
O well, the Prof always had expensive taste. Off to Woolies I went. But there were a few shocks awaiting me. The store I went to, didn’t stock that expensive range of sheets (i.e. they didn’t want the sheets of spun gold either).
Back to the original store then. They were not keen on spun gold sheets either!
“Sorry madam – we can’t take those back without the slip.”
Ok, so give me a gift voucher then.
“Sorry we can’t do that either – our policy has just changed.”
That’s convenient - what do you suggest I do with them?
“Sleep on them madam.”
I almost lost it – I said – these are from my cheating, soon to be X-husband. I sure don’t want them. You sleep on them.
Poor folks- they got my whole history in one mouth full!
“Well,” they relented, “ You could exchange them for goods from the store”.
Oooooooo – so I can exchange them, for things like clothes you say?
“Yes”.
Coooool. I worked for Edgars, I know how systems work. And I am a programmer with killer logic.
Remember the new clothes I bought after the Prof moved out, and that he gave these sheets back to me AFTER he moved out? The 2 incidents happened a week apart. The new clothes still hung in my cupboard with all the tags on them, AND I had a slip, AND it was all for about the same value.
I walked around the Woolies store, collecting all the identical things I had bought. The same colour, size etc. They were all still available luckily.
Back to returns. I had now turned into sweetness itself.
Will you kindly exchange these sheets of spun gold, with these gorgeous clothes?
Still wanting things to work out, I went along, albeit very unenthusiastically. I am not a great shopper at the best of times. (Wouldn’t that make me any man’s dream wife???)
I was doing the um and ahhh thing. For some of the things I even managed an “mm I don’t like that one, oh but this one is good etc.” I remember thinking – hey – look at me – I can even keep this facade up – but really – what is this about? Who wants new sheets when the marriage is in trouble?
O boy – am I sorry now that I didn’t pay better attention!! The Prof moved all of that stuff out with him, and Cream Puff now sleeps under the “marriage saving” duvet cover. Can you imagine the glee with which I could have asked – “hey darling – do you like the sheets I picked out for you? “ But alas – all I remember is that they were brown!
Well, amongst that load of goodies were 2 fitted sheets for the queen sized bed. The Prof (not wanting to leave “holes” in the house), did not take that bed with him. He took his granny’s old double bed – which had been stored in the garage. You are starting to get the picture, right. Those sheets did not fit.
A few weeks or so, after he moved out, the Prof brought back the sheets and wanted to give them to me. I looked at them in horror and said – no thank you, take them back to Woolies – you have the slip.
He refused to take them back, insisting that I keep them. I looked at those fitted sheets and decided – those could be the last sheets on earth – I am not using them.
They sat around stealing space for a while, and then I decided FINE- I will return them to Woolies. They were all wrapped up in their packaging still with the price on them. When I looked at the price I almost fell over. R650 per 1 sheet. Holy moly – do they have spun gold in them????
O well, the Prof always had expensive taste. Off to Woolies I went. But there were a few shocks awaiting me. The store I went to, didn’t stock that expensive range of sheets (i.e. they didn’t want the sheets of spun gold either).
Back to the original store then. They were not keen on spun gold sheets either!
“Sorry madam – we can’t take those back without the slip.”
Ok, so give me a gift voucher then.
“Sorry we can’t do that either – our policy has just changed.”
That’s convenient - what do you suggest I do with them?
“Sleep on them madam.”
I almost lost it – I said – these are from my cheating, soon to be X-husband. I sure don’t want them. You sleep on them.
Poor folks- they got my whole history in one mouth full!
“Well,” they relented, “ You could exchange them for goods from the store”.
Oooooooo – so I can exchange them, for things like clothes you say?
“Yes”.
Coooool. I worked for Edgars, I know how systems work. And I am a programmer with killer logic.
Remember the new clothes I bought after the Prof moved out, and that he gave these sheets back to me AFTER he moved out? The 2 incidents happened a week apart. The new clothes still hung in my cupboard with all the tags on them, AND I had a slip, AND it was all for about the same value.
I walked around the Woolies store, collecting all the identical things I had bought. The same colour, size etc. They were all still available luckily.
Back to returns. I had now turned into sweetness itself.
Will you kindly exchange these sheets of spun gold, with these gorgeous clothes?
“Sure, we can do that – our policy still allows that!”
That day I went home with an extra set of clothes, minus the sheets of spun gold!
Once home, I grabbed the original till slip, and went off to another Woolies branch – duplicate clothes in hand.
Would you kindly take all these clothes back and refund me, I asked – still sickly sweet.
“Of course madam, you have a slip so that is fine –er is there a problem with them?”
O no, no problem at all, just a case of fitted sheets not fitting on a double bed.
Lady - YOU have lost your marbles,I could hear them think.
Actually no, I haven't, Woolies has.
So – the Prof paid for my new clothes. Serves him right I think.
That day I went home with an extra set of clothes, minus the sheets of spun gold!
Once home, I grabbed the original till slip, and went off to another Woolies branch – duplicate clothes in hand.
Would you kindly take all these clothes back and refund me, I asked – still sickly sweet.
“Of course madam, you have a slip so that is fine –er is there a problem with them?”
O no, no problem at all, just a case of fitted sheets not fitting on a double bed.
Lady - YOU have lost your marbles,I could hear them think.
Actually no, I haven't, Woolies has.
So – the Prof paid for my new clothes. Serves him right I think.
I am still struggling to understand the concept. But good for you! :)
ReplyDelete