Thursday, September 3, 2009

D Day + 1

I didn’t know if I had done a good thing in persuading the Prof to stay. Throughout that day, I wondered if I was forcing open a door which God was closing. The children were playing Don Fransico music. The lyrics of one song spoke to my heart: Jesus asked the disciples to throw their nets on the other side, to fish, after they had had a whole night of unsuccessful fishing behind them. Why Lord, they asked, but continued with “but because it’s You who’s asking, we’ll do it”. I had my answer, the Lord does not turn His back on any marriage.

That evening, the Professor once again announced that he no longer loved me.

The next morning, was a Sunday. I was hanging washing, and having a bit of a moaning session with the Lord. “Do You see Lord, he says he doesn’t love me anymore. I can hardly continue, I don’t know anymore – I am so tired. I tell You what, I am going to be listening to the sermon in church today, so carefully. If that minister so much as once says – “let go”, or “release” – and I don’t care about the context – he could be saying – release your sins … then I will come home and personally help The Prof pack his bags. BUT…. If You tell me to keep going, I promise I will”.

God has such a delightful sense of humour (I could only appreciate the humour in retrospect though!). The first words out of the minister’s mouth that Sunday was “The theme of today’s sermon is : Try again, it’s not too late”. The bible reading – was that of the disciples fishing, and Jesus telling them to try again by throwing their nets on the other side.

Well, I knew God’s heart. In retrospect – this may seem like a strange part of the story to tell you, because by now you already know that I have gone through a divorce… but for me, this was very precious. I saw how God was on my side, helping me fight for my marriage.

I arrived home from church and told the Prof this exact story, my thoughts, the song, the bible reading. I told him that God was extending a hand of grace, who was I not to do the same. Would he try again, really?

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