Divorce Care

NMH was in a much better place than when I started writing originally.  We continued to email. He had done a lot of soul searching, had plenty of time to himself to start sorting out his head since I had originally written to him. I was beginning to understand his sometimes strange way of writing – like learning to decipher a child’s speech. Too much in a hurry to write, his words often left a letter behind in the previous word. Obviously he did not re-read his mail. He punched it out and clicked send!


I had enrolled myself in Divorce Care. This is a very excellent program run by many churches.  Anyone going through divorce should consider going to Divorce Care. That was a smart move!
I invited Werner to come along too.

At first he declined: I don’t need “counseling”, but then on second thought, he decided to come after all.

Divorce Care was the first time I met Werner face to face. He was easy to recognize. He was the only man there! He was waiting for me in the parking lot. How he recognized me, I have no idea, but he walked up to me and shook my hand. Some strange allegiance was born. We had this quick discussion: We don’t tell the folks inside how we are connected, right. Right!

So – in a room full of strangers I solemnly said: my husband ran off with another woman, and Werner said – my wife went off with another man. End of story.

The folks from divorce care assumed we were friends. It was obvious that we knew each other somehow, but they could not quite connect the dots: and we didn’t help them.

This started a very hilarious part of our story- in some respects. Divorce Care was not even 500 meters from the Prof’s new house. It was held on Monday evenings, and since the Prof wanted to see the children on more than just weekends, I arranged with him for Monday evenings. I didn’t tell him about Divorce Care, just asked him to drop the children at home again at 8, so that they could get to bed on time for school, when it became apparent that Divorce Care did not end early enough.

Werner on the other hand, did not see his children often, he didn't even have a place to let them sleep over for weekends (he was in the process of selling his house), so he arranged to visit his children on Monday evenings. As his visit finished up, I dropped my kids off, and from there we went to Divorce Care.

We had many a laugh about the fact that we had free baby sitting services, while we were busy with the “healing” process. It seemed fitting somehow.