The Date

Yes, I got a “date”! It felt very strange to even consider a coffee date with someone else. Was it even right to go?


I picked a weekend where the kids went to the Prof. Then I went on a coffee date with a very old friend of mine. He and his wife had been our bible study leaders when the Prof and I had first got married. Now he had been divorced for many years.

I, being a rather careful sort, offered to pick him up – so that I would be in control of this situation!

It was lovely. A friendly catching up of years. I was not looking around to get into another relationship – I knew there was a whole lot of healing which still needed to happen. But my friend understood where I was at. His ex-wife had also had an affair and left him.

But that “date” did me a world of good. I saw how someone else had got through difficult years, saw admiration in someone else’s eyes, and we spent an enjoyable Sunday afternoon at a coffee shop.

Another “date” which left me shuddering right into the present time is one I did not want to go on.
A  friend from church, who was going through the same thing as I was, had heard of a Christian Singles evening being held at Rosebank. She pleaded with me to come with. So, 3 of us – "half divorced" ladies, went to check out the “single’s scene”.
No, that was not pretty. These folks get together once a month and have a meal at a restaurant. There were people there , all manner of shapes and sizes, all different ages, some of them quite strange, others - bitter.

One weirdo character, (it was clear why he had never married), asked me for my cell number. Completely at a loss as to how one dealt with this situation, I gave him the number. One of the “seasoned” single ladies pulled me aside and told me – NEVER, EVER under any circumstances give out your number. Well, I said, but they are nice people – Christians – aren’t they? She clicked her tongue at me, clearly thinking: who let you out of the crèche? I got a stern lecture from her.

I hated that evening. When we drove home I prayed: Lord, I never EVER want to go out on the singles scene. If I am ever meant to meet someone again, You will have to bring him along to me, because I am NOT going to find him in this way (not that I want anyone mind you – I just mean – no thanks) Amen!