Walking past the ghosts of yesteryear

Colleagues at work, were hiking the Fish River Canyon .

The Fish River Canyon … majestic beyond words, hauntingly desolate, remote and above all – difficult. When you are down there… you are there till the end, no turning back.

I was intrigued.

I had hiked the Fish River Canyon when I was about 19 – at the time, with the Prof. I almost said – with the Prof in tow – but hey – I must be honest and tell you it was the other way around.

I had gone on a few hikes before I met the Prof (who was a student at the time). We did this hike together, and it was not much fun. (Maybe I should have caught a hint right there and then. Hiking tells you a lot about a person. Either not enough – or I was not paying good attention.)

Be that as it may, it was difficult – when I did it that time. I was not very fit, and it took me all day to walk the approx 20 km which you hike per day.

But… here was opportunity knocking at my door. Remember the ridiculous ideas of grandeur? Well, here I could live some of that out. Along with those ideas, where some others too – like the fact that I would like to know that I could do this by myself – without the Prof. That I would have been able to do it then too – without the Prof.

The group got 2 cancellations – and so – Jelly Tot Man and I signed up to go. Jelly Tot man – works with me, and he actually got his name down there in the canyon. Later more about that.

So, in May, we set off on the long trek to Namibia. I knew a grand total of 2 people! Both from work.

I was going to walk this walk, to sort out my head. I was walking it alone, and I was going to do me some serious talking to the Lord. When I was done, I knew I would be done with a lot of baggage too.

God must have been smiling a huge smile, and said – uh uh – I don’t think so (about the walking alone part).

Down there in the canyon – I made a Pivotal Friend. I had had pivotal moments, but there, I met Jonathan.

Jonathan is a missionary, journalist, photographer… and he was in SA with his family, on missionary work from Malaysia. I think the photos I have posted here are Jonathan's.

What an unlikely friendship we struck up.

I walked slowly (nothing changed from when I first walked), and Jonathan walked fast, but was delayed by taking photos. We both love stories, we both love talking, and many times the group joked and said they heard us coming because of all the talking we did.

But that talking, was perhaps just the thing I needed. Jonathan challenged my thinking, and it was from him that I first heard of a counselor by the name of David Riddell.

I can still hear in my mind, Jonathan’s words: the King and Queen of every relationship is trust and negotiation. Trust comes through time, negotiation means that what I think is just as important as what you think. If we don’t agree, we talk it through to a settlement.

Then he would ask me – did you and the Prof “negotiate” to a settlement?
No – I said – I just kept quiet.

Well, David Riddell says – the bible does not say – keep the peace at any price, it says – speak the truth in love.

Then on another day, he would talk to me about emotional health. He would ask- do you know that each person has an “unbearable feeling”? The feeling is something they never want to feel, and for that feeling they will cover up and lie and do whatever it takes … not to feel it. So Yvonne, what is your unbearable feeling?

Down in that canyon, you can only go forwards or backwards, but you cannot run away – not even from yourself. My unbearable feeling – was to be left alone, to have no one… that unbearable feeling had probably kept me chained in that marriage.

And so we walked, and talked, and there were many wisdom's and treasures for me to learn.

Thank you dear friend, for all that you taught me, for the patient counseling, and for helping restore “family” into my little home.