The Tipping Point

In the previous post I described 2 events which happened days apart. But a third incident happened which was to be the tipping point.

I took the children to their counseling session on Friday.
Before they even started their session, the counselor pulled me into her rooms and said – you will never guessed who phoned me today?
A friend of mine from the university! This friend, she continued, is extremely worried about HIS friend. His friend’s wife just left him, and moved into a Professor’s house ….. and as I listened to the story – I realized – I know this story from the other side. This is your story!
You should contact him, you could help him so much, you have come such a long way.

Looking at her for a dazed moment – I eventually asked in an almost whisper – what is he like – is he violent?

She just laughed and said – he is just an ordinary person.

The Letter

So, how do you write an email to your soon to be X husband’s, girlfriend’s husband.

CAREFULLY?....

I gave some thought to what I knew about him.
By now he must know of his wife’s affair. He had lost his wife and children, and who knew what would happen to his house. One of the things I had been told about him was that he had never even bought Cream Puff a dishwasher.

In light of a few things – this was as ridiculous a statement for The Prof to have made as any of his silliest remarks. The fact that I did have a dishwasher, was no thanks to the Prof. I once worked overtime and the person I worked the overtime for promised to pay me enough money to buy the dishwasher. This was the deal – so that I could get back the hours I lost with Marinda – who was still a baby at the time. In retrospect, the dishwasher business is even funnier for 2 other reasons: later I was to find out that Cream Puff had a full time housekeeper (i.e. no need for dishwasher), and the Prof has not bought the Cream Puff a dishwasher either.

Other than that, I knew that he was perhaps / perhaps not … a violent man.

That mischievousness in me started a pretend email:

Hi there
I am Yvonne, the Prof’s wife – you know – they guy who stole your wife away? Well, I am happy to tell you –you DON’T have HIV AIDS!!!!

Errr….no – I guess not.

I started another one.
Hey there
You will never guess who I am…. Yep – your wife’s lover’s soon to be X.


Errr… no – not that either.

I could go along the lines – hey there, are you murderous, angry and about to commit a family murder...

SIGH. I am seldom at a loss for words, but I guess I can be forgiven for this fix.

The eventual offering went very carefully along the lines of:

Hallo Cream Puff's Husband (no – of course I knew his name). I had better protect his id too.
I am Yvonne, and by now I am sure you know who I am. I am sorry for your heartache and mine. Perhaps it will help you to write? Writing has been a huge help for me. But if it is too awkward for you, I understand. Choose the path that suits you.

Well, I hesitated one final time over that send button, closed my eyes and clicked send.
THERE – it was done.