Tigger and Eeyore

Well, the naming business was such fun, ... thought I could do it all over again....

I thought of some more names, I even typed them into Word and asked the thesaurus to look up synonyms - but then the thesaurus went and spoilt my fun and rather lamely told me it doesn't know synonyms for the words I typed in.... hey - are you kidding me?

Ok ok, so I have had my fun. Let's get to the serious part.

I realise of course, that it takes 2 to tango, that The Prof deserves the names too (except I couldn't think of any!) Furthermore, I have subsequently - and sadly - learnt that a marriage breaks down, before an affair happens, not the other way round. That lesson was a pretty hard pill to swallow.

So - no more jokes about the names. (Sigh!)

Before I got so side tracked, we were in December - looking for marriage counselors.

The Prof reluctantly told me more about The Cream Puff. She was married, had 2 children, no friends (mmm wonder how many friends' husbands she tried to steal!), she worked at the university too, and her marriage was on the rocks. Her husband also worked at the university. (oei what a mess). Her husband had no clue about his marriage's perilous status. Apparently Cream Puff was not as forthright with her spouse as the Prof was with me. Aside from that - Cream Puff's husband was a violent man - and should he find out about his wife's indiscretions - he would murder her, and probably the kids too.

Somewhere in that week - between Christmas and New Year, The Prof and The Cream Puff decided to "break up". He was extremely down - really the only other emotion I saw, other than anger. He told me it felt like someone had died. (Funny - that was to be my experience too - not too long from now).

I am proud to announce that since I was no longer in "blissfully ignorant" land - I was suspicious about the wording of the "break up". He told me they had decided to no longer "see" each other. Well, that left writing smses and phoning, wide open, didn't it. It turned out that my hunches were now correct and functioning. The contact via cell phone had not been broken.

When confronted about this, the Prof completely lost his temper, told me that I had been married to him for 16 years, and had been "stuffing it up for 16 years too, all the while, I pretend the sun shines out of my butt".

Awful stuff to repeat and tell you, but when people are in this situation, they turn it around and make it look like it's your fault. All according to the Script. (See my earlier posts about this book, which explain that men who have affairs all follow the same pattern of deceit).

I know that I have faults, that I did things wrong in this marriage, but, the mistakes I made, don't normally give grounds for an affair. That was my way of putting things in the correct perspective. During this time, my family's support was invaluable. If not for them, I think I would have believed the stuff I was being told.

While throwing his hissy fit, The Prof threw down his cell phone and told me to check it then. I don't know how I remained so calm, but I did. I refused to rise to the bait. I also realised that the cell would no longer have any incriminating evidence, so it was useless to check what they had been up to anyway. I walked away, not looking at it.

A day or so went by. The Prof was so depressed that he consented to go to the Dr, who prescribed anti depressants for him. The Prof took the pills, got into bed and slept - promptly forgetting his cell phone on the table.

Of course I picked up the cell phone! I searched in the messages under her name, but there was nothing under her real name. Instead, there were initials and it didn't take a rocket scientist (never mind an outdated programmer ) to figure that out! So - I had found the messages. The ones which had not been deleted went along the lines of - so nice to hear your voice again..., I am not as clever with words as you are... - all this sickly sweet stuff. They signed off with - "yours Tigger". So - they had pet names for each other - she was Tigger and he was Eeyore. If you know Winnie the Pooh - you will know that Eeyore is always melancholy. Very appropriate for the Professor.

Oeps - I have stumbled on some more names for them!