At last, the townhouse which Werner’s friend had bought for him, became available. I jumped in to help him move all his stuff. It was scattered all over the show. Some furniture was stored at the university house, some at the flatlet, some at his folks.
We painted the new place, hung curtains, unpacked boxes and discovered a treasure of stuff which he had bought – some new, some came from his old life.
At that stage, the children were in the middle of exams. They elected to stay home with me – as opposed to going to the Prof, for those weekends. They battled ( and still battle) to study on the farm.
The Prof was very upset that they didn’t want to spend the weekend with him. He began phoning them – to “check up” that they were studying. Through the phoning, he became aware that Werner was in the process of moving, and that I was helping, thus leaving the children at home – alone.
The Prof took it on himself to drive himself over – claiming he missed them and wanted to see them.
The children opened the gate for him, he marched in and sat down on the veranda. They knew not to let him into the house – which was now our own, new safe place. They phoned me in such a panic – Mom – Dad is sitting on the veranda– what must we do?
They didn’t want to go outside – somehow being suspicious of his motives for being there. I told them to stay put in the house.
Then they phoned again – he wants coffee mom! The cheek!!!!
Werner and I were on our way home when the first phone calls started coming through. It was going to take me a good 20 min before we would get there. I phoned the alarm company and asked them to go to my house to remove the unwanted intruder from my property.
Chubb and I arrived at the same time. The Prof was sitting with a huge attitude on the veranda– for all the world like he owned the place. I think it was here that I learnt, that the Prof could put on the "garment of intimidation” - like you would put on a cloak. He was clearly out to pick a fight but I don’t think he had bargained on Chubb being part of the fray.
They were more than willing to help me remove him. However, in light of the backup I had in terms of Werner, and Chubb- the Prof decided of his own free will to leave.
That incident deeply distressed the children. Their safe space had been invaded. For a long time after that, they chose to come with us whenever we left the house – for fear of being intimidated by the Prof.
We painted the new place, hung curtains, unpacked boxes and discovered a treasure of stuff which he had bought – some new, some came from his old life.
At that stage, the children were in the middle of exams. They elected to stay home with me – as opposed to going to the Prof, for those weekends. They battled ( and still battle) to study on the farm.
The Prof was very upset that they didn’t want to spend the weekend with him. He began phoning them – to “check up” that they were studying. Through the phoning, he became aware that Werner was in the process of moving, and that I was helping, thus leaving the children at home – alone.
The Prof took it on himself to drive himself over – claiming he missed them and wanted to see them.
The children opened the gate for him, he marched in and sat down on the veranda. They knew not to let him into the house – which was now our own, new safe place. They phoned me in such a panic – Mom – Dad is sitting on the veranda– what must we do?
They didn’t want to go outside – somehow being suspicious of his motives for being there. I told them to stay put in the house.
Then they phoned again – he wants coffee mom! The cheek!!!!
Werner and I were on our way home when the first phone calls started coming through. It was going to take me a good 20 min before we would get there. I phoned the alarm company and asked them to go to my house to remove the unwanted intruder from my property.
Chubb and I arrived at the same time. The Prof was sitting with a huge attitude on the veranda– for all the world like he owned the place. I think it was here that I learnt, that the Prof could put on the "garment of intimidation” - like you would put on a cloak. He was clearly out to pick a fight but I don’t think he had bargained on Chubb being part of the fray.
They were more than willing to help me remove him. However, in light of the backup I had in terms of Werner, and Chubb- the Prof decided of his own free will to leave.
That incident deeply distressed the children. Their safe space had been invaded. For a long time after that, they chose to come with us whenever we left the house – for fear of being intimidated by the Prof.
It is a discomforting story! But it's good that you put down the boundaries in such clear terms!
ReplyDeleteYes! Good for you for phoning the alarm company! Crazy it had to come to that though.
ReplyDelete