The Divorce

At last the day of the divorce arrived. Behind the scenes the negotiations had been back and forth about the settlement. It had me emotionally exhausted, but in the end, it was all agreed upon. The Prof today is still complaining about it - and saying that I "forced him", "manipulated him", etc. His 2nd biggest pain in life is the maintenance money he pays . (His BIGGEST pain is Werner. )

The date was 27th July 2007. By now, I actually couldn’t wait for it to be over. I was the one who had to appear in court. When there are children involved, at least one parent has to appear in the High Court and it is usual for the person who is suing for divorce, to be the one to appear.

My dear friend Kay was visiting from Australia, and she had come with me to give me support. Thank you dear friend - your company and support were invaluable.

We drove into town with my lawyer. An advocate had been appointed by the lawyer - because only advocates appear in the High Court. Our advocate had been chosen by my lawyer according to something she called - "seniority". Sometimes the Judge asks the advocates appear in order of seniority. I had no idea what this meant. Did it mean the most experienced advocates go first?

Soon, I found out that seniority meant – oldest. Well, I don’t know where my lawyer scratched out this gem! She was old as the mountains, had a dicey leg, and was a nervous chain smoker. Another lady, who was also getting divorced, had driven in with us, and our lawyer met up with a 3rd customer, a man. The advocate pushed and hustled the 3 of us into a tiny room – to rehearse – she said.


Rehearse? You “rehearse” your divorce?????

She slammed her papers down on a bench in front of her, and started rustling through them. The more she looked for a piece of paper, the faster she started chain smoking. Then, victoriously, our advocate would hold up a sheet and say – ah – here – which one of you is ….- and then whatever the name was on the piece of paper she had in front of her.

I watched this whole scene with the utmost amusement. Who would think – divorce could be such fun, I thought. Then the serious side of me says– Yvonne, you better hope you get divorced today – this woman is as mixed up as can be. She will never find your papers – you will be here till tonight when they chuck you out of court, while she still tries to find your papers.

The advocate, somehow managed to find our documents and ran through the procedure. "Will you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?" (hey I thought that stuff came out of movies), "Then you will place your hand on the bible and say yes."

"You will be asked the reason for your divorce" ( ok – that one is a no brainer in my case), "and when asked about the children – you say it is all handled as per the settlement agreement. " Walla - that was it.

We stepped into the court. The most pressing question on every one's mind is whether the judge would ask for seniority.

She did! Yah! The Advocates looked at each other and made slight bows, to concede age. Our Advocate was not the oldest – merely the 2nd oldest!

Well, this daft lady, with her dicey leg ,was as organized and spot on inside the court, as she had been disorganized, outside the court. Never, judge a book by it’s cover. She was clearly highly respected and professional. Was it just us plebs, who got a sneak preview of something different?

I love people, I love stories – so I could not help, but enjoy myself a little in this new world, playing out before me. This interplay of characters intrigued me no end. But…it does not take away, the sadness of what those courts represent.

So many faces, people with broken lives, who had been married 1 year, 2 years? There was an endless stream of them. 3 Court rooms packed full, every Friday – going through the same routine – that of pronouncing people divorced.

Not long, before it was my turn.

I swore on the bible, held up my hand, gave my name to the court, and answered the questions. How long were you married? 17 years.

Did I imagine the slight pause, and the quick glance up, of a judge who had heard it all? Was there a hint of a something in the audience? I am not sure, but I think it was there… because I was by far, the only one with such a high number of years to record – from what I saw that morning anyway.

It was all done in a matter of minutes. Amazing, that which you spend so much money on – a perfect wedding, the years together, the children, the history… it all gets wiped out by the fall of a gavel, in the space of a few minutes, and by pronouncement of a judge.

But that is not really right. I guess it had all been wiped out so many months before… in the split second where the Prof and Cream Puff chose to cheat....