"Ek Like jou Jelly Tots" (present)

Translation: I like you Jelly tots.

This is a break through of note on a personal level. Let me explain.

Eric - my little step son, turned 5 yesterday. He and I have a funny hot/cold relationship. It is all warm and fuzzy from my side, and all cold from his side.
On day 1 he viewed me with extreme sucpision, and althought I think he has revised his opinion somewhat, the territory has been hard won.

He is a funny little fellow. He loves people, isn't shy at all and takes to most folks like a duck to water. I think I was just too much in his space, too soon.

He now has a contradictory relationship with me. I will tell him : I love you Eric. He will nod his head in acknowledgement, and then I will hear him say the same to his dad a while later. On other weekends, I will say: I am so proud of you Eric. Not half an hour and he will be asking dad - Are you proud of me?
So, I know the stuff I say sinks in and gets churned around for processing.

Sometimes, sneaky me, has been able to get some kind of affection pronouncement out of him - when he is repeating what I say. A typical conversation will run like this while he is playing:

Eric: Ok- I am going now
Me: Ok, go safely
Eric: Go safely
Me: See you soon
Eric: See you soon
Me: I love you
Eric: I love you

HA! Snuck that one past him.

Then, when it is night, and dark, he suddenly turns into "my little boy". If he wakes up in the middle of the night, he comes running to our room, and crawls into bed with me. Then it is not dad he is looking for, and for just a short while he snuggles up and becomes sort of mine. Those moments get tucked away in my heart and treasured.

This past weekend was a wobbly one. Arno and Eric were bickering constantly. Eventually I had had had enough. I packed Arno off to his room, looked sternly at Eric and told him that I don't want to hear the word "Arno" coming out of his mouth for the rest of the day. I got a sulky nod.
Not one to hold any grudges, I invited him to come bake with me, which he duely did. I thought we were "cool". A while after the baking was done, Carissa came running into the kitchen.
"Aunty Yvonne, Eric says he doesn't love you, and he thinks you are not a nice kind of mommy for him". Hiding a smile, I looked at her and told her, well, that is ok, because I love them both very much, no matter what.
So, some "revenge" for the discipline!

Yesterday was the little man's 5th birthday. I went to fetch him from school so that he could spend the afternoon with us. He was so thrilled that I got a huge hug, as I picked him up. The effect did not extend to holding my hand when walking to the car! Ah well.... can't win em all.

He had a wonderful time. We went swimming at my parent's house, we ate cake and sang happy birthday to him. At the end of this wonderful day, Werner was driving them home when he opened his window to tell me: Ek like jou Jelly Tots.

It took a moment to realise what he was saying. In our house we often say: I love you lots and lots - like Jelly tots! So... the little scoundrel translated it for his own use: I like you Jelly Tots!

Well, I like it too. It is a victory!!!!

Would love to hear your comments and advice. Reconstructed families require LOADS of wisdom.