Through the Looking Glass into The Script

The publishers of The Script have kindly given me permission to give some quotes from the book. So, I just want to take a slight detour and show you around inside, and as a result into the world in which the Prof moved.

According to The Script's Intro :

"We have found that men talk and act as if there were a manual. And they all have a copy. And they took the same course where this was the text book. And one and the same teacher taught this course wherever it was given. And these cheating men attended every session. And they remembered everything they learned. And they remembered the order in which to do it.
And the Script was written nowhere until now" .

This books was very funny and helped me to put things in perspective. To give you some examples here are some of the scenes from The Script which the Professor followed:

Act 1
"Scene 5: "She Doesn't Understand Me"
"Scene 6: I Found My Soul Mate"
"Scene 10: Getting His Ducks in a Row"

Act 2
"Scene 1: Dropping the Bomb"
"Scene 2: I Like Living Alone"
"Scene 5: I'm Going to Take Care of You" - (ha ha - he even said he would paint and fix up the house after he had moved out)

"Scene 11: It's Your responsibility to Keep Things Civil and Nice"

I could go on. The professor followed the script - chapter for chapter.
I have only highlighted a few of the most important ones.

If you are going through this heartache, or know someone who is, get this book. It is just about impossible to stop The Script, although the book does give excellent suggestions. But, if nothing else, it puts things in the correct perspective. It makes you realise that you are not losing your mind. You realise that what these men are saying, is a well orchestrated plan to validate their affair.

The Professor

Well, let’s name and shame the guy – and call my then husband – The Professor. (He actually really was a professor at the time, working at a local university). So – from now on I will call him The Prof.

We are now in December of 2006. The Prof was acting very strangely. I put it down to the depression he had suffered from for years. He would sleep late, keep even later nights, not come to bed when I went to sleep. Probably the most telling of all is that I could no longer do anything right. He got mad about the smallest of things.

There is a very funny and excellent book which I read much later – The 100% absolutely predictable things men do when they cheat. If I had had a sneak preview of that book, I would have realised that The Prof had apparently read it too (or at least attended classes about it) – because he followed the pattern spelled out by the book – down to a T.

So –true to form, everything I now did was sub standard and wrong.

A case in point. Somewhere around the middle of December, I was frantically trying to fold and iron washing – to get it out of the way. Ironically, this was because I knew The Profs hatred of a messy house. His pet hate was the washing lying around.

He was highly offended that I chose to do washing rather than spend time with him - his argument was that I cared more about the washing than I did about him. Huh???? (Just by the way - how about some help with that washing?)

No amount of logic from my part (and please remember – I am a programmer – I have PLENTY of logic in my arsenal), could persuade The Prof as to my good intentions.

I went to bed , forgetting my cell phone in the kitchen – BIG mistake. The Prof sat on the porch and consoled himself with a glass of whiskey. By midnight he sent an sms from his cell to mine (yeah – believe it – the porch is only about 5 metres from the bedroom), to say that since I had not come to speak to him about the situation, he could only assume I am not interested, this is no longer working – he is leaving. He got in his car and left.

The very first I knew about all this, was when I got up the next morning ...to find the Prof gone, and a message on my cell – in the kitchen.

I phoned him and talked nicely (another good trait of programmers – we think fast, talk fast – and the LOGIC of course). On a serious note, my plea to him was – surely one does not get in your car and drive off over WASHING? And by the way – WHERE are you?

He told me he was in Bronkhorst Spruit . Well, that is probably about 2 hours drive away from our home. (It was also ever such a slight twist of the truth). Witbank, and Bronkhorst Spruit are ever so slightly NEXT DOOR to each other.
Enough for today. We pick up in Bronkhorst Spruit / Witbank tomorrow!