Wedding day - second time round

Wedding days ... are way better 2nd time round. You are more chilled about them!
I knew I wanted it to be different, I didn't want a traditional dress, a traditional look, or traditional music.

So it was none of that...and so much more.

We decided to let all the children be bridesmaids, and page boys - or in fact - whatever title they would have liked to be called. Next, we let them choose their own wedding garb. That was huge fun. We told each of the girls - "choose whatever makes you feel like a princess- we don't care what colour that needs to be". Colour co-ordination was also off the charts. In fact - esthetically - everything clashed horribly - and was absolutely beautiful.

Ashlyn choose purple, Carissa had pink, Marinda was in a shimmery  brown, Marielle and Nicole had purple and black and I had a burnt orange outfit. It was all good. The huge smiles we got when we bought the stuff, and their smiles on the day... proved us right . I think people faff too much with weddings.

Next, we got an unconventional minister. We found him by chance. He preached on a wedding video, taken by Werner's friend. We heard the sermon, and it touched a deep chord within us. Only later would we discover why. This minister - Jaco, does weddings by trade. Now before you think that this is unromantic (as I did), think again. I half frowned at his web site, and my  heart sank - I did not want to be married by some chap doing it as a living, who just rattles the sermons off one after the other. But on closer inspection, I discovered some gold, as one so often does if you stand still to look. This man, had been through his own trials and tribulations in life, he too had been through the pain of divorce - and he spoke my and Werner's "new" language. THAT was the chord he touched within.

We discovered that he was a careful planner, that each wedding is seriously taken, each sermon, carefully considered. He brought an element into the service that we would not have achieved with anyone else. He brought his experience of other weddings, where other people had started over, and included their children into the service. He melted together the best of the other sermons, in a way joining us up with others, brave enough to try again.

Now a venue (unconventional - of course). Well, the garden is real pretty, especially at that time of the year....we would just need good weather. It had the benefit of not costing us a cent.

Add a whole host of friends, willing to help, and the stage was set.

A last planning detail worth a mention was my friend Janine who makes wedding cakes for a living. "Can you take a joke", she asked. "Sure", we told her. We were in for a surprise!

The week before the wedding, we were once again packing up Werner's stuff, and moving it, this time for the final time.

The 6th of September dawned clear and bright. The weekends before, all had miserable weather. But on our wedding day, the sun shone brightly.

Looking out the window, I smiled at the sight of rows of chairs on the grass. How many people can say they got married in their garden?

My darling friend Lynette did the catering with her daughter who had just qualified as chef. Janine's wedding cake arrived - joke and all: 5 little icing children falling all over the cake, and tumbling out out of nooks and crannies! I even had Carina, at my side, all the way from Cape Town. I realised afterwards , she was my unofficial matron of honor - but we weren't doing "that stuff"!

We enjoyed the day so very much. There was no stress to it. When I realized I had ordered flowers for everyone but not myself – I simply shrugged, laughed and took Werner’s hand instead. During the ceremony, Eric got bored, wondered off, fell down on the grass and proceeded to play with the insects he found there.

The whole day was simple and sweet and full of goodness.  Our most precious loved ones were there to share our day... those same people who had seen us through so many hours of grief and tears, were now part of the joy.

My days and months since then, have truly been blessed and full of sunshine. I have never known such happiness and peace.

I will publish some wedding photos...tomorrow - SARS permitting of course!