Wedding pics

Wedding day - second time round

Wedding days ... are way better 2nd time round. You are more chilled about them!
I knew I wanted it to be different, I didn't want a traditional dress, a traditional look, or traditional music.

So it was none of that...and so much more.

We decided to let all the children be bridesmaids, and page boys - or in fact - whatever title they would have liked to be called. Next, we let them choose their own wedding garb. That was huge fun. We told each of the girls - "choose whatever makes you feel like a princess- we don't care what colour that needs to be". Colour co-ordination was also off the charts. In fact - esthetically - everything clashed horribly - and was absolutely beautiful.

Ashlyn choose purple, Carissa had pink, Marinda was in a shimmery  brown, Marielle and Nicole had purple and black and I had a burnt orange outfit. It was all good. The huge smiles we got when we bought the stuff, and their smiles on the day... proved us right . I think people faff too much with weddings.

Next, we got an unconventional minister. We found him by chance. He preached on a wedding video, taken by Werner's friend. We heard the sermon, and it touched a deep chord within us. Only later would we discover why. This minister - Jaco, does weddings by trade. Now before you think that this is unromantic (as I did), think again. I half frowned at his web site, and my  heart sank - I did not want to be married by some chap doing it as a living, who just rattles the sermons off one after the other. But on closer inspection, I discovered some gold, as one so often does if you stand still to look. This man, had been through his own trials and tribulations in life, he too had been through the pain of divorce - and he spoke my and Werner's "new" language. THAT was the chord he touched within.

We discovered that he was a careful planner, that each wedding is seriously taken, each sermon, carefully considered. He brought an element into the service that we would not have achieved with anyone else. He brought his experience of other weddings, where other people had started over, and included their children into the service. He melted together the best of the other sermons, in a way joining us up with others, brave enough to try again.

Now a venue (unconventional - of course). Well, the garden is real pretty, especially at that time of the year....we would just need good weather. It had the benefit of not costing us a cent.

Add a whole host of friends, willing to help, and the stage was set.

A last planning detail worth a mention was my friend Janine who makes wedding cakes for a living. "Can you take a joke", she asked. "Sure", we told her. We were in for a surprise!

The week before the wedding, we were once again packing up Werner's stuff, and moving it, this time for the final time.

The 6th of September dawned clear and bright. The weekends before, all had miserable weather. But on our wedding day, the sun shone brightly.

Looking out the window, I smiled at the sight of rows of chairs on the grass. How many people can say they got married in their garden?

My darling friend Lynette did the catering with her daughter who had just qualified as chef. Janine's wedding cake arrived - joke and all: 5 little icing children falling all over the cake, and tumbling out out of nooks and crannies! I even had Carina, at my side, all the way from Cape Town. I realised afterwards , she was my unofficial matron of honor - but we weren't doing "that stuff"!

We enjoyed the day so very much. There was no stress to it. When I realized I had ordered flowers for everyone but not myself – I simply shrugged, laughed and took Werner’s hand instead. During the ceremony, Eric got bored, wondered off, fell down on the grass and proceeded to play with the insects he found there.

The whole day was simple and sweet and full of goodness.  Our most precious loved ones were there to share our day... those same people who had seen us through so many hours of grief and tears, were now part of the joy.

My days and months since then, have truly been blessed and full of sunshine. I have never known such happiness and peace.

I will publish some wedding photos...tomorrow - SARS permitting of course!

Thieves (present)

So... if you think the world is flat and I Fell off the other end of it.... you are probably right. That flat world is my work - and the end of it is SARS. O I do love to hate SARS. They provide employment for me, but Filing season is just too dreadful for words.
So - the deep ,deep pit I have fallen in to,  is called FILING SEASON.

All my creativity and time and energy have fallen in to that endless pit.

Apparently - that pit will end sometime - they tell me this weekend.

But hey - when our programs go live - we suddenly have millions of users to find the bugs that all the cute testers did not!

On to other subjects. My friend at work was smash and grabbed on her way home - after working a late shift at work. (I knew working late was bad for your health). They hit out her window, which had anti-smash and grab on it. Apparently very little effort to get through that stuff. Those folks at the window places tell you that they will need to hit your window 4 times at least to get through the glaze on the windows...well they are wrong. So - if you thought that stuff kept you safe...then you are definitely NOT right.

Keep all your possessions in the boot of your car. They may still smash and grab you - but there will be nothing to take. Rehearse through your mind how you will react in certain situations, and train your mind to think of alternatives. My friend saw this coming, and was aware throughout the ordeal. She actually stopped far back when she saw them running between the cars, and she tried to keep her car moving. The red robot eventually caught her - and she could not go through the light due to oncoming traffic. She might have been able to go through the yield road in the opposite direction, but she was just not thinking that fast.

That is why I say - try to think through situations to help you react fast if it should be necessary. Isn't it so sad, that we have to think and behave in this way.

Your thoughts about overtime please? What do you do when pressured to work extra, and everyone else does it? It really looks bad if you are the only one saying "no". Now I am saying "no" in my heart, but yes with my actions...eish.

Writing down my stories, often puts such perspective into things. I was thinking about a title for this post and it suddenly hit me like a bolt out of the blue. The theme of both my stories has a common thread. The only difference is the one's action had violence in it, the other has coercion. Both have the element of something stolen.

Getting to know one another (present)

Starting over with someone new, means that you need to get to know that person (all over again ).  You love the person - but it takes time to build a level of understanding and confidence - just like starting a new job and learning everything from scratch.

So last week, Werner and I achieved a milestone of sorts, and it almost slipped me by... but for the fact that it made me smile.

Werner loves disks... LOVES what is ON them - should I say. It doesn't matter if they contain movies, music, photos - if you have it on a disk - he loves it. On top of it being a huge passion - it is the quality of the stuff that concerns him. If it is sound, then it must be clear, balanced  (and I don't know what all else), if it is a movie - it must display just right. You can't have "viviting", jagged lines, must have good black levels.... and above ALL - no "motion blur". Huh - I hear you ask. Don't fear - before last week - I had never heard the expression before either.

We have had a gorgeous big screen job that seemed just fine to me. Hubby dear, went to buy himself a blu- ray disk. With great excitement, brought it home and zapped it up on that screen.
The whole world came to a SCREETCHING halt. This HD "Ready" screen - could not cope with the blu-ray disc - so HD "Ready" - cleary doesn't mean it is "ready". The images showed "motion blur":  when the movement on screen was too fast for the refresh rate of the screen ( Um - I think that is the reason!)

Well, he phaffed this way and that way - putting in new cables, changing settings - all to get rid of the "motion blur". Then there was the day where he disappeared from skype for a few hours. (He and I chat on skype during the day.)

When he came back I asked him - "so - do we have a new TV?" I could just "hear" the laughter coming down the computer line. "Noooo".... he said... he just went to look, but how did I know?
Yes well, I wasn't born yesterday you know. I just have this funny feeling that the "HD ready" is somehow not good enough any more.

As though to prove that he too has an uncanny ability to read me, he was watching (self same blu-ray disc) a few nights later. I was making supper, and he was left pretty much to his own devices. He must have felt a bit lonely, because before long I heard a tune I love.
Peering round the corner, I hoped to catch a peek of the show. There sat Werner, huge smile on his face, like a cat that got cream:  "I knew that would get you to come over."

As for the TV... well, anyone want to buy a HD ready plasma screen? It looks just fine to me...but has this thing called "motion blur" - which is apparently "not cool" when you love everything disky.

The scary scarecrow (present)

We have a wonderful gardener. He stayed with me, after the Prof left - lucky me. I think the Prof asked him to work for him too, but at the time Owen didn't have extra days open, and chose to stay with me instead.

He was a saving grace in this big, daunting world of taking care of the property and garden by myself. I have never needed to tell Owen what to do, he just gets on with it. When I arrive home, the whole garden has been taken care of. How he manages to do it all in one day a week, I can't understand.

He started a veggie garden for me too. His enthusiasm is infectious. I have an understanding with him now; he takes veggies as he wants for himself, leaving more than enough for us. He asks for seeds, and when I see again - we are eating fresh veggies. This year - has been a bit harder. With all the rain - we had "crop failure".

Not daunted, Owen has continued to plant into the autumn. He started up some spinach, and to his disgust, the birds began eating it. His first attempts at solving the problem, was to put up some net. This only had the effect of giving the birds some nice shade to chow in.

His next attempt had us in stitches. When we got home one evening, we found a new character had been added to the plot! Yep  - he constructed a scarecrow. Where on earth did he find all the "parts" needed for this?

Our mirth at the new resident, only increased when the birds, quite happily carried on their destructive ways, right under SCARDY's feet.

We sort of forgot about Scardy, and the weekend arrived. It was a "kiddies" weekend. Carissa and Eric grabbed their bikes from the shed, peddled up and down the driveway for a bit, and then, unsuspectingly drove round the side of the house to the back yard.
It took but a moment before there were 2 screaming children coming like banshees through the door.
"Daaaaaaaaaaaddddddddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.......there is a SPOOK in the garden - there is a monster there..."

Ummmm - it took us quite some time to recover from laughing. We introduced them to Scardy, and he has since been given facial features by the children. They stuck some sticks into him for hair, and had some fun.

So - Owen's scarecrow doesn't do much in the way of scaring birds, but works real good on scaring kids!

And Owen? Well, he has decided that if he can't scare the birds away - perhaps he can "outplant" them. My veggie garden is now completely planted up with spinach. In his heavy accent, he says to me: let's see if the birds can eat up ALL that spinach.

The 8th of the 8th (present)

I was challenged last week by my friend Karen  from MomAgain@40  fame, to post the 8th photo from the 8th folder and tell the story. Seems that bloggers play these games! Sort of like taking a map and sticking your finger down somewhere and saying- ok that is were we will go on holiday!

But, curiosity made me go look at the 8th photo in the 8th folder - to see where my life was at that stage. Mmmm...nice surprise - life was GOOD.

I was with all my loved ones at the botanical gardens. It was 2007, and Marinda and Ashlyn's (cousin) birthday celebration. Come to think of it - it was probably Ashlyn's  celebration- and we piggy backed onto Ashlyn's party. That is more likely, since Joan is much better at arranging these things than I am.

So... ok I cheated a bit. This was something like the 10th photo. The 8th one was out of focus, and didn't tell the story as well as the 10th one did!

Here you can see Roy taking a photo of Ashlyn (what a gorgeous attitude my niece displays!), and in the background, my missionary friends Cally and her children, together with Muff and Jack , my sister and my parents.
The divorce had happened shortly before, and yet - life goes on, and was good because of my dear family and friends.

You've got mail

Sorry for the silence. What SARS calls FILING season - we know locally in our office as SILLY season. That means SARS wants a whole years worth of development done in 2 weeks, and quickly sent out before people start filing their tax returns. Well, THAT time has started - the pressure is on.

Back to the story....

The children had kept our wedding news as a huge secret. Maybe it wasn’t so much a secret as the fact that they didn’t bother to inform the Prof or Cream Puff, of our intentions of getting married. (Good for them!)


Imagine his shock, when he found out 6 weeks before the wedding date? I do wonder gleefully- (sorry) – what went through their minds?

Anyway – an email unexpectedly arrived in my in-box from the Prof:

…I believe you have gone over to a brave decision. The children tell me you are getting married to Werner? I will never do that again… nothing against Cream Puff – if you know what I mean?

I read that and thought…actually – no – I don’t know what he means. He was prepared to break up 2 marriages, cause untold hurt to 5 children … and for WHAT? For a half hearted living-in arrangement, with no security, no commitments? Sorry Prof – I don’t get it at all.

And hey…what does that say about being married to me? It says that it was the worst part of his life. So,  if that were so,  I should have been the one, not prepared to marry again.

I think I can be so thankful, that the Prof’s unfaithfulness, did not damage my views of marriage.

Thinking back – I think the Prof’s view of marriage was always broken, which lead to even more brokenness.  A bigger insight is this:  I think he lived a self-fulfilling prophesy concerning marriage!