Physco CATS - we need a "cat whisperer"

O woe is me... wonder if I can start EVERY blog post that way... every one regarding the cats anyway?

Siamese... delightful, beautiful, cute, sweet... deep, dark, not too sweet, bratty, catty...and finally - SPOILT ROTTEN BRATS??????????????

Let me explain. We now have 3 cats:

•  One was rescued off the streets. No nonsense, no fuss cat
• One is a Siamese. Paid lots of money for her, looks like butter won't melt in her mouth, and until 3 weeks ago - I thought she had the sweetest disposition on earth. Often you would hear me say "Why do Siamese cats have such a bad reputation? They are too sweet and kind for words". Yeah right - I am EATING those word.
• Lastly the "wildish" kitten who arrived at our house to prove all my theories wrong

Tuppence - (street cat), took 1 or 2 peeks at kitten, and decided to go her own way.

Misty -  (Siamese), initially peeked, then got offended and disappeared for a while. After putting some thought into this matter of:  "this new cat has taken over my favourite sleeping place (Marinda's bed), en my favourite person (Marinda)," - decided to show us how disgusted she is with the whole setup, by pulling out the fur on her back!

Don't even THINK about saying "AG Shame". She is reacting like a spoilt brat. Initially we were totally freaked by this behaviour. We carted madam off to the vet who promptly put her on "anti depressants"... what the heck? Yep - apparently they can get anti depressants for cats. Now I am wondering - who thought that up? Some vet who had a "down looking" cat?

After 1 attempt to get pill down cat, I decided - NAH - we will have to live with a depressed, physco cat. So - since the Internet tells you - don't give them attention when they act badly - we ignored the fur pulling. Since this now no longer had the desired effect, Misty decide - in that case: I will sort this problem out on my own, and proceeded to the room to give kitten a huge hiding by chasing her round and round the room.

In fact - this behaviour continued until she had chased baby to hide underneath the Wendy house - where she stayed for about 3 days with no food and water, while we were away in the Drakensburg. Now you can say - Ag Shame!

Are you starting to get a sense of how mad I am with my "sweet" cat. Well then - times it by another 10.

This gives new meaning to the expression -" I will pull my hair out"!

Leave me alone, can't you see I am a book

O What have we done... woe is me....

We have been desperately trawling the pages of junk mail in search of a kitten. Our old ginger cat (who achieved momentary fame), when she was written about in Gus Silber's book- the parenting guide to PC's. I think that was the title? Anyway, allow me a minute to stray off my point. His daughter came to me for computer lessons, many moons ago. At the time he was writing his book about the parenting guide, and apparently observed Ginger meandering in on the window sill. He liked my computer school (thanks Gus!), and I was mentioned in his book along with Ginger.  As I said... momentary fame!!!

Ginger was old, and grumpy , and surprisingly - she improved with age. As the winters got colder and colder for her - we became more and more attractive - lap wise.

Sadly we had to have her put down due to old age - about 2 months ago. Since then, we have been looking for a "special" kitty. We didn't know what "special" looked like...were struggling to define it. I went from SPCA, to COSanc, and back to junkmail. Nothing. "Special" does not reside in these places, I concluded.

Last week, I half heartedly opened up the junk mail pages again. There was one ad which caught my eye. It was different from the others in that it had a pretty photo of a not so small looking kitten.
A Siamese. We have a beautiful Siamese at home already, so this was starting to feel like it might be "special".

I phoned and could hear these folk wanted a loving home for a stray kitty whom they fed.
Werner and I went to look. Kitty lived outside, with another kitty and an adult black cat who had adopted them when their mom disappeared. She was beautiful, but clearly quite wild. She allowed the family to touch her, but kept a wary eye on us.

We teetered on indecision: should we, or shouldn't we. Finally, looking at those big beautiful eyes - we decided to take a chance. The cats on this farm / plot are in danger - people poisoning them, catching them, and the folks who fed her - had clearly realised something needed to be done.

It took about an hour to catch her. It was almost as though she knew that we were there for her. She lead them a merry chase. The black cat was no help, sitting guard at the door, and warning the kittens when someone approached. Finally, heart breakingly, they caught her. I felt just awful, breaking up the threesome, but realised if we did not take this one, someone else would.

Rueful blue eyes looked back at me from the cage on the back seat of our car. Not a sound came from her.

We planned it all out before we got home. She would live in the girls' bedroom, until she adjusted.

Once we opened the cage, she flew to the windows and disappeared behind the curtains. Oh dear....what have we started?

She spent the night hiding behind the couch. She would not budge, eat or drink anything. She made no sound at all. The next morning as we moved around the room, she came out for a moment, ran to a bookshelf and "hid" in plain few. She turned her head away - and looked for all the world as though she was saying - LEAVE me alone- can't you see I am a book.

The "Popped" question

Yes, yes...some of you have been checking back, I know. Apologies.

Here is what happened....

We couldn't quite wait till Friday to "pop the question". It sort of gradually came out as the days passed, starting with little hints and finally ending in: so can we have the air rifle serviced.

In the mean time Werner had a heart attack... a month ago now. What a huge shock and trauma, it sent us reeling. He doesn't have high blood or high cholesterol and he isn't over weight. It all happened so very suddenly. We thought he had heart burn, the evening before. The next day we thought the same, except this time he was sweating and in a lot more pain than the night before. He still drove himself to the Dr, who immediately got his wife to drive Werner to the hospital. Their kindness, and the quick thinking of the Dr, probably did a lot to save Werner's life as well as minimize the damage.

After a stint in the theatre to unblock a clogged artery, Werner spent another 3 days in ICU. He was booked off work for a month. During that time, he found out where to have the air rifle serviced and took it in.

From the day Arno found this out Werner had taken the gun for servicing,  he began nagging : when do you think the gun will be ready? We finally told him - after Christmas. THAT answer kept him at bay for about 2 days...then it all started again. SIGH.

Last week Werner went back to work, and this week the gun was ready. Mmm...takes equally long to fix a heart and the spring of a rifle gun...makes you think!

In the meantime, back at the ranch...the room which Arno had been keeping squeaky clean (in order to pop the question), had slowly returned to it's former state - like water - looking for the lowest point to flow.

With renewed "Strictness" I informed my son that should he wish to shoot the air rifle, he had better get 85% on his NS test. Today he came home with a 95% thank you.

As I write, Werner and Arno are shooting at a piece of wood in the garden. Looking at those faces...you would not know which is the boy and which the man...the excitement is the same!

Popping the question

For months, actually - probably YEARS, I have been trying to get Arno to tidy up his room. The purpose behind this is actually multi-faceted. I was told that in order to ensure that he gets better marks at school, we have to teach him to "organise" his personal space. The idea is that the basis of learning, is being organised. In order to get his brain functioning in that direction, you have to teach him to organise his little world. (The other reason is simply to have a tidy house!)

Well, "organising" his little world, has turned me into something I NEVER was before... a NAG. I never, EVER nagged. Not in my previous life, and not in my "new" life. Until  now! Arno has turned me into a class 1 NAG. Every evening, before I step into his room, I start: Arnoooooo. "Yes mom, my room IS tidy", he pipes up - BEFORE the question is even asked. Every  morning I walk into his room and we have the same, tired conversation : Arno - but I thought you said your room was tidy? "I thought it was mom, I just forgot!"

I once got so angry at FORGOT that I told him I might "FORGOT" some things too, like feeding him. This produced an unsatisfactory result from him: he just giggled. Mom's don't FORGET to feed their children.

And so we battle on in the house, sometimes with more success, sometimes with less. Some motivational talks telling him how good it is for him, produce momentary spurts of enthusiasm, that last all of 12 hours.

That is.... until yesterday.

Last night I walked into his room, almost turned around and ran out to check that I was in the correct house. He had tidied up his room.... all on his own. Before I had asked. WELL!

I puzzled over this for a while. Quite a number of things have changed in our house over the last few weeks, not least of which is that Werner had a heart attack. We speeched the children about helping around the house... maybe that had some effect? Then Arno started scouts 2 weeks ago, and I keep hearing things about scouts honour, promises and so forth. Maybe he is working toward a badge or something... hey what do I really know about scouts.

Well, this morning the mystery was cleared up. In the kitchen, alone with his sister, he confided to Marinda: "On Friday, I am popping the BIG question!".

"What question", she asked.

"The air riffle", he said simply.

The AIR RIFFLE?

Well, the air riffle was given to us by my missionary friend, Jonathan. Arno loves that thing. But now the air riffle needs a service. We have been quite lax about finding someone who can service it. But above all, we have felt that Arno needs to show responsibility with his stuff, not leave it lying around, before we spend more money on it. Hmmm... something is sinking in somewhere!

So... I will plan out my answer - and wait...on Friday I get asked - THE BIG QUESTION!!!!

Reflections on thankfulness

Apologies, think I 've found out what writers block feels like!!!

This morning Marinda came into our bedroom saying, "Werner, it was so  nice to hear you pottering around the kitchen this morning, making mom coffee".

THAT was one very loaded statement. You see, Werner had a heart attack on Friday last week. We missed all the queues, and I have discovered, I had very little idea of what a heart attack might look like. We have funny ideas in life, and when you are convinced a thing will never happen to you, well... here is what THAT looks like:

He started with a feeling of "heart burn" the evening before. After taking Rennie's antacid tablets it seemed to ease - convincing us that our diagnosis was right. When he woke with the same terrible burning sensation in his chest the next morning we thought, SIGH, more of the same. Only, this time he was sweating and pale. I briefly wondered if I should drive him to the Dr, but he easily persuaded me that he could manage.

By 9am the Dr phoned me from his cell. "Yvonne, nothing much to worry about, but we are quickly driving Werner to the hospital to have his heart checked out. He is taking some strain, but don't worry, we are in time".
Reeling somewhat at that information, I packed up my life at work to head to the hospital. We have been listening to an audio book whilst driving around, and one phrase kept popping into my head from the story: we never know what the day will bring.

Once at the hospital, the gravity of the situation became clear. The cardio made no bones about it - "Mr Geldenhuys, I will see you in theatre in 30 minutes". Werner was agitated, and in a massive lot of pain, totally unprepared for the thought of theatre. He had some stuff to do you know!
Before I had started to fill in the necessary paper work, the first friends began arriving at the hospital. How did they get here so fast, I wondered. At the sight of a familiar face, I burst into tears.

The day started to tilt sideways. All the unspoken plans and routines, slowly slid off the once level platform. We never know, what a day will bring, we never know how fragile and precious a life is, and we don't realise how quickly everything can change.

Werner made it through theatre, where they unblocked an artery. The blockage had been there a long time, but that, together with stress and other factors - precipitated a heart attack. We never quite realised it, although in retrospect - the doctor had hinted at it. We thought  he had angina - which is simply a pain, but not an actual heart attack. Only when the Dr came straight out on Monday and said the words, did we realise exactly what had been happening.

Werner went from theatre to ICU. There he landed by some ironic coincidence, next to a man who had seemingly lost it. The patient's plaintive cries of : Nurse, let me go, you're drowning me. Sister, why am I here, let me go... - continued for about 6 hours, despite the nurses best efforts to sedate the distraught man. Eventually they put sedatives in Werner's drip to calm him down. It was essential to keep Werner calm, in the face of his heart problems.

I really never want to buy this post card again. This one was enough experience to last me a life time.
Once Werner came home on Monday afternoon, we looked at each other with new eyes and thankful hearts: we had had yet another 2nd chance. His every smile, his every action - precious beyond words.

It is going to take a while, to adjust our thinking. It is going to take me a while to stop flapping around him, to stop listening to his breathing at night, to stop wondering if he is still sleeping when he has gone for a 4 hour nap, or if he has stopped breathing and I should have gone in to check on him...
But - it is a small price to pay, for a 2nd chance, and if that is the price - I will gladly pay it.

If ever we wondered, what our friends and support structure were worth - we found out that we had more than we could ever have thought possible. We got love, prayers, meals, lifts, smses... we were completely overwhelmed.
So, all in all, we have as always - more blessing than we can count.
Thank you dear family, thank you dear friends.

Wedding pics

Wedding day - second time round

Wedding days ... are way better 2nd time round. You are more chilled about them!
I knew I wanted it to be different, I didn't want a traditional dress, a traditional look, or traditional music.

So it was none of that...and so much more.

We decided to let all the children be bridesmaids, and page boys - or in fact - whatever title they would have liked to be called. Next, we let them choose their own wedding garb. That was huge fun. We told each of the girls - "choose whatever makes you feel like a princess- we don't care what colour that needs to be". Colour co-ordination was also off the charts. In fact - esthetically - everything clashed horribly - and was absolutely beautiful.

Ashlyn choose purple, Carissa had pink, Marinda was in a shimmery  brown, Marielle and Nicole had purple and black and I had a burnt orange outfit. It was all good. The huge smiles we got when we bought the stuff, and their smiles on the day... proved us right . I think people faff too much with weddings.

Next, we got an unconventional minister. We found him by chance. He preached on a wedding video, taken by Werner's friend. We heard the sermon, and it touched a deep chord within us. Only later would we discover why. This minister - Jaco, does weddings by trade. Now before you think that this is unromantic (as I did), think again. I half frowned at his web site, and my  heart sank - I did not want to be married by some chap doing it as a living, who just rattles the sermons off one after the other. But on closer inspection, I discovered some gold, as one so often does if you stand still to look. This man, had been through his own trials and tribulations in life, he too had been through the pain of divorce - and he spoke my and Werner's "new" language. THAT was the chord he touched within.

We discovered that he was a careful planner, that each wedding is seriously taken, each sermon, carefully considered. He brought an element into the service that we would not have achieved with anyone else. He brought his experience of other weddings, where other people had started over, and included their children into the service. He melted together the best of the other sermons, in a way joining us up with others, brave enough to try again.

Now a venue (unconventional - of course). Well, the garden is real pretty, especially at that time of the year....we would just need good weather. It had the benefit of not costing us a cent.

Add a whole host of friends, willing to help, and the stage was set.

A last planning detail worth a mention was my friend Janine who makes wedding cakes for a living. "Can you take a joke", she asked. "Sure", we told her. We were in for a surprise!

The week before the wedding, we were once again packing up Werner's stuff, and moving it, this time for the final time.

The 6th of September dawned clear and bright. The weekends before, all had miserable weather. But on our wedding day, the sun shone brightly.

Looking out the window, I smiled at the sight of rows of chairs on the grass. How many people can say they got married in their garden?

My darling friend Lynette did the catering with her daughter who had just qualified as chef. Janine's wedding cake arrived - joke and all: 5 little icing children falling all over the cake, and tumbling out out of nooks and crannies! I even had Carina, at my side, all the way from Cape Town. I realised afterwards , she was my unofficial matron of honor - but we weren't doing "that stuff"!

We enjoyed the day so very much. There was no stress to it. When I realized I had ordered flowers for everyone but not myself – I simply shrugged, laughed and took Werner’s hand instead. During the ceremony, Eric got bored, wondered off, fell down on the grass and proceeded to play with the insects he found there.

The whole day was simple and sweet and full of goodness.  Our most precious loved ones were there to share our day... those same people who had seen us through so many hours of grief and tears, were now part of the joy.

My days and months since then, have truly been blessed and full of sunshine. I have never known such happiness and peace.

I will publish some wedding photos...tomorrow - SARS permitting of course!